Body Language

Last weekend, I attended the marriage and Valima ceremeonies of the son of a dear friend. My friend's son and his bride are very pious and subscribe to the Salafi school. Therefore, the gathering during the both ceremonies was divided into male and female sections which were completely separated (sealed) from each other.


Both ceremonies main event was a speech by an Imam. I was lucky to be in the male section, because the poor women could only hear his voice. As is the case in such gatherings, the women did not pay much attention to the speech and carried on with their own conversations about clothes, jewelery, and kids. This bothered the groom's sister, who asked the Imam to announce that women should be silent and attentive to his words of wisdom.

There is ammple scientific research and data that has determined that words only count 7 percent of the total communication. The remaining 93 percent of the message is the non verbal and involves body language, eye contact, and delivery. In addition, research has shown that no human being has attention span for a speech of more than 20 minutes. Therefore, I wondered if the reason for the women for not paying attention was lack of visual contact and access to body language. In addition, the same Imam on both days went on for about 40 minutes and were holding the guests from the festive and expensive dinner at a world class hotel until 10:00 PM. I could see that most of the persons in the male section had tuned out the message from the Imam and were looking at their watches or fiddling with their cell phones.

This made me wonder who is responsible for such an ineffective communication on such a special and festive occasion. I know that some persons will blame me for this write-up but we have to own our problems and deficiencies before we can solve the Muslim communities deep rooted problems. We cannot continue with a similar approach in our religious institutions and let the young men and women walk away from real Islam. The first an easiest solution is for the speaker be asked to view his video taped presentation. In addition. even in separate gatherings there should be video transmitted by a large TV from the mens section to the women section.