Marriage Between Muslims and Non-Muslims

Recently I watched Dr. Asrar Ahmed answering audience questions on TV in Britain.  He is considered to be an expert on Islam and Quran, and has a large following among the elite Pakistanis who are religiously observant.  I was amazed by his advice to the audience that in the current environment of the Western countries, it is not advisable even for Muslim men to marry non-Muslims even though it is allowed by the sharia.

Having lived in the West for 40 years now, I reflected on the marriages of some of my friends and relatives who married non-muslims.  I did not have to look too far.  My two brother in laws married two non-muslims who as I observed intially converted to Islam at the time of marriage with no serious commitment.  Both of these women later on became examplary Muslims and raised great Muslim kids (See one of them Kwon Shaikh at a hearing for a Silicon Valley Mosque (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyqjgyzSBj0).  They both ended up as principals of Sunday schools of the largest Islamic centers in California.   One of them even became the principal of a full time Islamic school.  Another of my relative's mom of Christain faith married a fellow Muslim Algerian graduate student.  She now runs a much needed community center for Muslims in California. This is the only center that I know of in USA which has a developed a modified 12 step program for alcoholics.  Alcoholism is a wide spread among Muslims and the traditional mosques in USA seems to think that it does not exist in the Muslim Americans.

The marriage of Muslim women to non-Muslim men who convert for convenience of getting married has also been beneficial to Muslim community at large.  I remember one physcian in Augusta, Georgia who married a fellow Muslim woman physcian.  I remember him coming to the mosque every Sunday early in the morning when no one else was there to cut the grass and maitain the lawns.  He and his wife later donated one million dollars to the top and famous liberal arts college, Swarthmore, to establish a center of Islamic studies.  

I find that in the current climate, it is extremely difficult for young Muslim men and women to get married in USA.  The immigrant parents of both the boys and the girls are looking only for physcians and no one else.  A quick check of Muslim matrimonial websites and adevertisements in Muslim magazines will confirm this.   The mate selection is solely a business proposition.  The concept of dowry from the sub-continent is still practiced in USA.  However, instead of the money and household goods the dowry is the financial prospects of the groom or the bride.  This is specially true of the mothers of the would be grooms and brides.   This concept is alien to the young Muslims who are brought up here and want to get married.   I believe, we should encourage young Muslim women and men to marry with persons who are different faith but who are willing to convert before the marriage and are of good character.

I summary, I beg to differ with Dr. Asrar Ahmed in this instance.